Flying isn’t So Fun Anymore

This week I went out of town on business for a couple of days. Not unusual but this time I flew instead of driving. My destination was Phoenix. The only direct flight from Fresno was on America West Express.

Over the years I’ve flown plenty of different airlines. I’ve even flown America West one other time. However I’ve only flown ten or twelve times since the twin towers came down on 9-11. Generally my experiences have still been positive. But my distaste for flying is growing. I am frustrated by the calisthenics you have to go through each time you go out to the gate.

Pull the laptop out of the bag, take off my belt with the metal buckle, remove the change from my pockets, stick the cell phones (yep I carry one for work and a personal one as well) in the computer bag, hope the breath mints with the foil wrapper don’t set off the metal detector, and take off my shoes. Do they really need to x-ray my tennis shoes?

I usually check a bag but this time I made the decision to stuff two days worth of clothes and my bathroom kit in my laptop bag. I didn’t need to check any luggage but they sure checked out that bag in the x-ray machine. I hope they didn’t find any holes in my socks or underwear.

Watching some of the women coming through the line is entertaining as well. They are stripping off necklaces, bracelets, watches, and other assorted metallic objects many women like to wear. I know the metal detector can’t tell the difference between jewelry and a knife or gun but it’s amazing how much stuff some women wear. Plus, since you can’t lock your checked luggage anymore so it can be searched by hand, you can’t leave any thing valuable in there. So if a woman wants to wear some jewelry when she arrives, she needs to wear it on the plane. There has got to be a better way to make it safe to fly.

One of my co-workers says he would be willing to go through some type of prescreening with a retinal scan on file so he wouldn’t have to go through this each time he flies. He might be onto something. This might be an opportunity for a savvy technology company to come up with a better way to screen people. Of course it would likely already be implemented in Israel if something were feasible. I still think a creative engineering/marketing firm might be able to capitalize on this in some way.

At least the terminals aren’t as crowded as they used to be. All the family members have to stay out beyond the security checkpoint now. Now at least more travelers can find a chair to sit in while waiting to board.

I usually don’t mind the airplane itself too much. I feel compelled to say something about the plane this time. It’s a good thing the plane was only half full. The seats were smaller than usual and they were like sitting on a board. When the flight attendant announced the seat cushions could double as a flotation device in the unlikely event of a water landing, I did a double take. These seats had no cushioning in them. They felt like a board with a piece of cloth on them. By the time I got to Phoenix my rear end was numb. Several other passengers grumbled about the lack of padding as well.

The funny thing is, on the return trip, the pilot announced that Mesa Air (the airline that operates America West) had just won the Airline of the Year award. I can guarantee the judges didn’t fly in the two planes I did. When they turned off the cabin lights it was pitch black in the cabin except for the no smoking and the fasten seat belt signs. It took me three or four minutes of poking the ceiling to hit the right button to turn on the reading light.

What’s all this mean to the small business owner you ask? I’m not completely sure. The ticket was quite expensive for an hour and a half flight. I’ve flown all the way across the country for less many times. It cost me less to fly to Hawaii last year and that was with a one-day notice.

I would recommend planning ahead as far as possible to minimize the ticket cost and bring your own seat cushion if you are going to fly America West. Oh yea, and bring something to eat. None of the airlines I’ve flown in the last year have provided a meal without asking and paying for it in advance. I don’t bother. I just take a couple of pieces of fruit and a sandwich. Believe me I have enough reserves to make to the next city without starving to death.

And I guess all those workers that used to work for the airline catering business now work for the TSA screening passengers and their luggage.